Flower...from..?

Receiving flowers is something when you are a girl....Everybody will be flocking around to know who is that special someone? What type of flower is it? How many stalk are there? What is the intention..? It synonomous with many events of life, valentine, first love, graduation, birthday, marriage or even death. Flower do play some roles in creating emotions, effect, conveying meesages and feeling, or just a mere beautification elements. Saying that, flower is flower...the god's beautiful unique creation.....that is made for all sort of reasons, depending on what ones to hold to...

I can count with fingers how many time i received flowers before.. Ohh just let say...i only need my two big thumb for that. Yupp, I received flower twice. The first time, from the family....during my graduation. It was blue roses with a bear sticking out from it. The flower was a saver, putting me equal with other graduates who were having at least one on their lap. Thanks my family for being thoughful,,..It turned out as a very good prop for the photoshoot....Remember the little younger ariff was crying and cat fighting with me for the "sticky" bear ....

The second flower was from Cik Ani, for the same occasion, but was delayed a few days after that. A smaller version, with red and pink roses, just nicely done to congratulate my Doctor title.

And that was the two events....Neither valentine, nor etc etc ...that I received flowers after or before that...Until today...

The phone rang,..abah called from downstairs.."Li kat mana?".."Li kat bilik kat atas..".."Turun kejap kat bawah cepat"abah requested me to go down.....I went down to Bilik TV, abah mak and kak ina was lying on the sofa. "Li jap lagi ader orang tepon..li angkat..".....I asked why and who..."Dia nak mintak alamat rumah....nak hantar bunga kat li.."....

Hearing that words, my heart stopped...for few seconds.. What bunga?...From whom? Why...? For me...R u serious...? Abah and Mak were both suprised as well. So as we sat there, trying to break the code..of Why, What and Who..? But i guess the real question that everybody especially me want to know is who... Mak even said.."siapa yang bagi bunga ni li, if perempuan, kita terus hantar pinangan laa!".... I have no Idea...no a clue ... But i guess it must be for my birthday...So it can be anybody....The florist had some problem to locate the house...that's why we know the flower is coming despite the appearance of it....I decided, let see what written there...



As the flower making it way throught the gate, no much clue in it. " DR ADLI ALI, BEST WISHES ON YOUR BIRTHDAY" Such a very common wish, without any signature, nor name, or nickname. Even the handwriting, is not familiar looking. "Ini bunga dari siapa yer?" "Dia dari mana?" all the questions were negatively answered with .."Tak tahulah...saya hantar bunga aja"....

I brought in the flower, mak and abah continued with their puzzle solving. "Hmmm....must be someone older and with money, and thoughful person"mak said. "The person knows that U like white lily and gerbera" "It can still be your patient, because the Dr Adli Ali" "Bunga from Jinjang South, tuh kat kepong"abah said...... It is not just them...I were solving the equation myself, if a drug compnay, must have signage, same goes if from Clinic, Department or fellow collegues.

I showed the flower to Kak Ina who was sleeping, she barely open her eyes. The opposite reaction from Ya and Jani.."Cantiknnya, bunga nih laa ya nak for graduation" ya commented while looking at the gerbera. "Wah..abang li ader stalker"jani giving her comment.

So....here the flower beside my bed...3 pairs of red bright roses, 3 glooming white scented lily, and stunning red gerberas. Simple yet sweetly done arrangement. The intention is rather straightforward, to wish for a happy birthday. Yet the puzzle of who is it from, will have a huge impact on the future outcome....

Yet for now.....I am happily greatefully happy with the flowers...the 3rd flower in my life....yet the most significantly and unexpectedly meaningful....

To the person...thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers...

Saying that...it is not just young girl, who will be excited receiving flower like this....I am too.....!!!

Presentation Plan

This 2-3 weeks will be bugging with multiple presentation. I guess I'm gonna die of doing presentation then. From mortality report and presentation, to Journal club, the 3 tutorial pediatric that had been postponed, and not forgetting the new presentation on neonate that will be in another 2 weeks time....

Saying that , all of that, the date line, is not more than 3 weeks. Huhu, and I am not even starting it yet. How irony is that? So I need a plan...huhu...

How about starting with the mortality cause it will be next thursday, yet I have to pass it over by the end of this week. Then followed by the Journal club, as the presentation will be next Friday....hmm, this is a 2 people presentation, and the unlucky person that coupled with me is Haiza...pity her termendously. So finish with that 2 presentation, I guess I need to move to neonate presentation and one of the tutorial, as it will be the following week.....

That is the plan for now....the Presentation plan ....Saying that, the hardest part of all is getting the time, to start and sit down...as once it started usually it can be done in just an hour or two. Nevertheless, how I try hard to motivate myself to do it early, being the guy with adrenaline rush, I guess, my body accomodated to the subconcious early lazziness syndrome.

Tup Tap Tup,...gerak detik waktu...(is that how elyana sang it in that song of her...) The clock is ticking...but at least...I already got the Presentation plan....huhuhuhu.....that is something....hehe....

Do pray I finish it well okay....

The Pediatric Journey

It Saturday night, and I'm in NICU, and I'm writing this. Yupp, you are reading it right...I'm oncall on Saturday night, in Pediatric NICU, and I'm writing my blog while doing all that. Saying that, it is not that ample. The day was continous, since I entered the ward in the morning, it had been unstoppable drama. Patient to patient, blood pricking, new issue rising, the round. Luckily, by now, the patient are relatively stable, and hopefully no new issue will rise suddenly.

As said...I'm now in Pediatric, ...remember the new journey that I had been talking about it before? I already in the journey, even though it is still in the beginning, yet I'm already embark to the journey of my pediatric life. Everybody is scared, especially me-the one who in the journey. Yet, alhamdulillah, it had been a wonderful journey, and insyallah, will treasure it, and no regret of choosing this field.

Wonderful journey, doesn't mean it was always bright and easy. It do have it up and down. Being the youngest, newest and definitely the least experience in the department, had it own share of impact to the journey. The way I look at it, the way my collegues and lecturers look at it, the way the patient look it, the way the community look at it, were ultimately different compare to other people who are doing pediatric. Yet, summing up all of it, it is without doubt, a wonderful journey.

I'm still not rather sure, will I definitely excel in this journey of pediatric, yet I definitely know by now, my heart is fond, and contented, working with all this beautiful amazing children of Allah. How they touched me every single day, securing my inner energy and magnify my believe of a peaceful, honest world that had been created.

The journey is long, and it just started...and I'm really looking forward to more sceneries and places this pediatric journey will bring me.... Alhamdulillah, for HIS guidance and barakah for me to be in this journey,....Hopefully it will always be a great amazing journey....as I hope it will be...

The 100th entries...100 stories ...100 memories...

I have to admit it had been ages since my last entry here. Yet it doesn't mean i forgot about neo_gillain...it is far from true. I had been contemplating on what to write here, for some reason...that i think was stupid. Btw...yupp this is neo_gillain, anniversary of 100th entry...

Yupp...it is the 100th entry...

So there it goes.. Since last april, i was thinking how to celebrate the 100th entry. I wrote an entry, deleted it. Wrote some other, and never finished, and think it was insignificant. From april it went into may, and subsequentky to june, july, come august, goodbye september and now in october. Everytime I came to neo_gillain...i feel pity for the loneliness, yet,,,the writing never complete,..because of the my first three digit entry anniversary...

Call it stupid....cause it is...and that what I did.... In attempt to commerate the 100th entry... I ignored neo_gillain alone... As i was searching for the "best" for the special occasion...I did that....Yet it a wrong thing to do...to left it alone, untouch...... Totally something that not suppose to be done...

Yet doesn't it sounded familiar...? Something that maybe every each of us had come across it, in our short life in this world. Ignoring or hurting someone, not because we hate it, yet cause we think it is good for it, or that the best for them. But, is it truly a right thing to do? To hurt and to be hurt...for something that we assume will be good for the other party....

I am among those person....Lot of histories and stories ....of me doing those things....

I remembered saying to My class teacher at standard 4, "Cikgu saya dah malas laa dapat no 1? Saya rasa nak bagi no 1 kat orang lain laa..."... I'm not sure how stupid i was, yet looking at what i did, yes...i was stupid. I was by then, was always top of the class, never really score anything less than A, yet half the other class failing. Sometime i wonder, why my other friends were working hard and struggling to be just a bit like me....i pitied them....that I think maybe i could give my "first" place to other.......true enough the end of that year...I got 2nd place.....and I was shocked ...

I also recalled ignoring and avoiding friends, didn't contact the other, so that they can continue and free with their life, not to be occupied and attached and dependent to me. Hoping that they can be a better person than me, rather than being with me, who is not doing a good job as a friend, neither as a fellow collegues. Showing lack of interest, poor at responding, avoiding and ignoring..thinking by doing that, they can move on with their life, exploring and shining their true colours, without being stucked "to be" with me...

That also include the occasion that i don't like to hon people as I don't feel good about it, even though they deserved to be honned at, leaving me stuck in the terrible traffic situation. Not bugging to get my paycheck at a jewwllery shop that i work for a week, because i don't want the owner to feel awkward not to give me the salary i entitled for. I will finish what ever food that left on the table, because i pity the food, even my stomach had said no, and my fat had double in size.

Avoiding love...that what people said i do...Trying not to look at it, even it may be there...Honestly i'm not sure if i did this, yet...if I do...it is not a suprise as I did lot of share,...avoiding and subconciously avoiding something, thinking that the best for that situation...

Yet we all know it is not the right thing....infact I know it very well...

So here I am....back writing my 100th entry....after avoiding and subconciously ignoring it, as trying the get best entry for the 100th anniversary of neo_gillain... Saying that, this entry is far from perfect and diffenitely not archieving the hope I kept for few months to commerate the anniversary.....

\Through this period of 5-6 months, I realised the impact of life I have...the stories, experiences, and my pondering that are here, which able to touch someone, in certain particular ways.....and making me aware, that someone do care, and want to know a bit more about what happening in my life....

Without realising...there are people who come and do sit around in neo_gillain, hoping for new journey and lullaby to be heard and share with them, my lullaby, my personal experiences and opinion.

Yupp, I had ignored and avoiding the blog for a really long time...waiting for the perfect 100th entry. This is the 100th entry, and as u can see, it far from perfect....yet that is me, and that's what important....What people want to see is the real me, not something that I wish to create...I started to realize it ...again...

So my dearest "friends of neo_gillain"...Thank you for being here. It is amazing to be back here, realizing ...it had been 100th since 2004....... Hoping I will never take my neo_gillain for granted,and avoiding it later.....

The 100th entry, the welcoming back, the very special unique meaning to me.....